EPSIODE 4 - BEST MEAT ALTERNATIVES

 

This being the Shravan season perhaps quite a few of you are eating vegetarian for a month. This inevitably means you’ll crave meat at times.  Now the best way to turn vegetarian is if you don’t crave meat at all. You don’t crave the ‘meatiness’, the thick ‘chewiness’ nor the most important ‘juiciness’ of meat at all.

But let’s be real here. If you are a recovering vegetarian or are not in a position to eat meat at times due to cultural or spiritual reasons, then you are obviously craving meat at times…or something meat like. And that’s perfectly normal. Don’t let anyone fool you by saying –‘Why do you want a meat alternative? Ideally …’. Here’s a good tip in general- train your mind to turn itself off when you hear the word – ‘ideally’. It’s the most unrealistic, unhelpful world ever. Ideally we wouldn’t even need food to exist. Ideally we would just be realized spirits existing only as energy not even needing to take any physical human form. Ideally the world would be ideal. So forget ideally. (I wanted to use a different F-word here).

In the real world, no average person has the resolve of a Sage or a Yogi. (Unless of course you are a yogi). So, you will crave things occasionally. Now dealing with those cravings in a sustainable manner is what is to be figured out. So as a recovering vegetarian or someone who just wants to experiment with different choices, here are MY 4 personal favourite meat alternatives. Stress on the MY… because these are completely subjective. Also, the alternatives have been ranked based on their closeness to meat, their versatlity and also their availability –

Honourable exceptions – In case you have never heard of it, there is a traditional Chinese meat substitute called ‘Seitan’….(not to be confused with Shaitan or the Devil). It’s made from washing wheat dough many times to get this stretchy chewy texture. I have personally never had it and although you can make it at home, I haven’t yet gotten around to it. I have heard its pretty close to Chicken or Bacon depending on how you cook it. But currently am in no position to comment on it.

 

Without further ado, here’s the list :

4. Paneer

 

Am sorry but your best just ain't good enough

 

 

Availablity	5/5
Versatility	3/5
Meatiness	2/5

 

I know I have bitched a lot about Paneer in one of my previous articles. (Click here to read). But having said that, based on sheer availability Paneer is a good alternative to meat. It can be smoked and used in tikkas/kababs. It can also be made into a steak or a good burger patty. In fact, other than potato based patties, it is the second most popularly used burger patty ingredient. It is also very protein rich and can be used creatively. I personally don’t like paneer-based gravies because frankly its texture is not really close to any meat. However, it is easily available, quite chewy and juicy. It’s good for certain snack like dishes.

 

3. Soya

 

 

Availablity	4/5
Versatility	4/5
Meatiness	4.5/5

 

Majority of meat alternatives are Soya based. It has been consumed widely in China, Japan and Korea for centuries. Its derivatives like Soy Milk, Tofu, Tempeh etc. are widely used in vegan diets. Soya has many nutritional benefits as well. It does have a very complex and interesting history in India. (Read it here)

Somehow Indian vegetarianism hasn’t warmed up to soya traditionally. Though it should’ve made a perfect candidate owing to its nutrition and variety of uses. Although Soya Chaap (chops or kebabs) have become a popular street food in Delhi and Punjab. Soya chunks are easily available in any major town. Soya burgers are a good alternative to meat based ones and quite a few restaurants are starting to put it on their menu.

Soya is definitely more chewy and juicier than Paneer. But once you compare it to actual meat, most of the soya I have had till now feels…hollow. To use words from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, it tastes ‘almost entirely but not exactly’ like Chicken. Of course, it’s not fair to compare it directly…but Soya sometimes feels like a tease. It gets so close to the actual texture, that your mind starts expecting the same bite as meat but which it obviously doesn’t have. That’s the only reason it ranks a bit lower on my list. However, it is by far the best and most easily available meat alternative in India that I have had.

 

2. Mushrooms

 

 

Its very easy to cook at home and makes for the best chakna

Availablity	5/5
Versatility	5/5
Meatiness	4/5

 

Mushrooms just like Soya have this weird taboo attached to them. Traditionally since fungi were seen to grow in…filth…Mushrooms were never a part of mainstream traditional Indian cooking. Though it has been consumed by tribes and people in coastal and hilly regions for centuries. They would have to venture to out to forage them from the forest. Many traditional vegetarians either find mushrooms to be… well ‘dirty’ or too meat like and not part of plant kingdom. (Hence not vegetarian).

Mushrooms though are now grown in farms and not in muddy wastelands and are available even at your local Bhaajiwala. Mostly you’ll only find white button mushrooms readily available. However, most of India is warming up to mushrooms and you’ll certainly find varieties like Portobello or Shitake available in fine dine restaurants.

Mushrooms in my opinion have this proper umami taste and chewy texture. If used properly it can serve as substitute for both meat (A well-made mushroom biryani kicks ass) and also sea food. (A mushroom soup has that natural rich saltiness).  I have had one or two Shroom burgers and found them more interesting than the Soya ones. Perhaps because shrooms don’t taste synthetic for me. (Sorry but Soya sometimes feels like rubber). Also, Shrooms have a lot of nutrients you wont generally find in veggies like Vitamin B, Potassium, Iron, Zinc etc. Only issue I have with mushrooms is that we need more than just white button mushrooms.

Shrooms serve as the best starters (Cheese stuffed Tandoori mushrooms, Achari Mushrooms etc. are thankfully becoming a staple on most menus), surprisingly good patties and of course in biryanis and curries. Shrooms are really hard to beat in terms of versatility and its unique but meaty texture. Yet there is one meat substitute that is not only the Jack of all but also the master

 

1.      1.Jack Fruit /Fanas/ Kathal

Its Jack AND Master of all meat alternatives

 

Availablity	3/5
Versatility	3/5
Meatiness	8/5 (yes that’s an 8 out of 5)

 

Jackfruit is a bitch of a fruit to eat. Its thorny and you just can’t slice it at home but have to get it done from the vendor. Its availability is also an issue, It’s a seasonal fruit available from March to June/July. It’s a good fruit to eat, its chips also taste quite good and so does Jackfruit ice cream.

But Jack fruit is the most underused meat alternative in India. If you have ever had red meat of any kind- beef or pork- Jack fruit has the exact kind of thick juiciness to replicate that. Seriously, Jackfruit is thicker and meatier than a Kardashian sister. Raunchy jokes apart, though Jack has been used traditionally in southern India and in the coastal regions, you won’t find it on restaurant menus since it can take some effort to cook. But let me tell you, Jackfruit biryani and burger are the closest thing I have had to a pork biryani and burger. If Konkani restaurants started serving jackfruit-based curries, I could almost think of doing a vegetarian coastal trip. Its that good.

There is a now upstart company from Goa called Wakao foods which have started selling Jackfruit-based meat products like burger patties, biryani, butter Jack (their version of butter chicken) etc. You can order these online and give jackfruit a shot. The west is just discovering its versatility and its health benefits. Jack is very rich in micro nutrients like Magnesium, potassium etc. It also delivers a good amount of carbs. You would feel the same amount of ‘fullness’ after eating a jackfruit-based dish as you would after eating meat. (without the dullness I might add).

India being a tropical country is not using Jackfruit enough in our cooking in my opinion. It makes for the best curries, patties and biryani’s in my opinion…gives you the taste of red meat without any of its health risks.

 

 

So, there you have it, my personal countdown of healthy, fun meat alternatives. I would also say that instead of looking at them as just as cheap substitutes for the ‘real thing’, one should look at them as foods which carry their own unique identity. You are limited by your own imagination in the end. My wife, sister-in-law and mother have mastered the art of making even a kofta curry taste as good as chicken curry. Think of these healthy, tasty alternatives as more of tools for stretching your culinary creativity.

 

 

PS –

Honourable mentions:  In no particular order some honourable mentions of alternatives you can explore-

1)     Begun Bhaja-   A Bengali dish - Brinjal chops cooked covered in a lentil batter. It has a very interesting texture and looks a bit like fried fish.

2)     Patwadi Rassa/ Maaswadi Rassa- Patwadi are lentil dumplings and Maaswadi are stuffed lentil dumplings. While you can find Patwadi mostly in central and eastern Maharashtra, Maaswadi is a central, northern thing. They are essentially dipped in the same curry (rassa) made for mutton/ chicken. Protein rich and succulent, do give it a try as it is available in many Dhabas in Maharashtra these days. (Goes so well with Bhakri).

3)     Kofta Curry – Most Kofta Curries I have had in restaurants is a sweet dish. Its yucky, lacks texture and literally covered in cream in the name of ‘malai Kofta’. However, Kofta balls (made from Doodhi) dipped in non-veg style spicy Rassa is amazing. Also, Kofta made in rich Mughlai curry can be well made if taste is balanced properly. Only good one I have had was in Paradise restaurant in Hyderabad and it was quite amazing.

THE RECOVERING VEGETARIAN EPISODE 3 - The Party Minority

 

 Whats the weirdest thing about Indian Vegetarianism?

Just like most of Indian culture, our vegetarianism is varied and subjective but still has many shared beliefs. While many Indians won’t eat meat on certain days of the week, or certain months during the year, others like me don’t have it or cook it at home. Some vegetarians may also eat eggs. Eggs are often considered the equivalent of milk by many, in the sense that it’s an animal product that doesn’t involve actual slaughter of the animal. Veganism is rare and prevalent only in urban centres. (Because Indians will die without chai, ghee, khoya and curds. 99% of our sweets are dairy based and they are fucking GODLY).

Most Indians are vegetarians not for ethical or health reasons but for socio-religious reasons. The core beliefs of Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism advocate Ahimsa and many still follow vegetarianism out of respect for their family traditions or beliefs instilled in them since childhood. Now most of you reading this, already know this...so none of this may strike you as ‘weird’ (It may to someone who isn’t Indian).

So what’s the weird part?  Try this – Tell me how many people you know who eat meat but do not drink? – Quite a large number. Muslims primarily. Many from traditionally meat eating castes or people from coastal regions eat meat but don’t drink alcohol for ethical/health reasons. A large number of meat eating Indians fall into this category. Now do the reverse- tell me people who are vegans/vegetarians but are also drinkers? – you’d be hard pressed to find one or two in your circle. Weird isn’t it? The only time I have found more than 1 person like this in a social setting were the bars in Mumbai – where the mostly Gujju Jain Seth log used to down quarters of whisky with chips or pakoda.

Seriously though Kanda bhaji is one of the most underrated chakna out there.

OF TWO EVILS

Unlike Veg v/s Non Veg or Red meat vs White meat, Alcohol V/s Veg shouldn’t even be a competition. Alcohol isn’t really a dietary choice or a cultural identity. But in India, it somehow is. I have worked in rural parts of Maharashtra and often in my experience, if non-veg food is on the menu for a house/farm party – you’ll often find majority of times that alcohol is available. (The exception obviously being Islamic households). If it’s a Veg party, then you can be 1000% guaranteed there is no alcohol arrangement.

I in fact know of quite a few people who don’t eat meat generally but will have it when drinking. It’s easy to understand why this must have happened. Hinduism and Ayurveda in particular tell you to abstain from meat as far as possible. Alcohol is obviously not recommended. So culturally speaking, both are sort of taboo. Meat being a lesser one. (Owing to certain health benefits like protein). But if you break one, you might as well break the other.

Now I am not at all supporting alcohol consumption here, to each his own. Whether to slaughter an animal and cause yourself health issues or to poison yourself slowly and cause yourself even worse health problems is entirely your choice. All I am saying is if you are a drinking vegetarian, you’ll be a bigger minority than the pure vegetarian at most parties in India. Plus if you are a recovering vegetarian like me, it would be mighty difficult because well...peer pressure.

PEER PRESSURE

Now I haven’t had a proper PARTY thanks to COVID since I started to be a recovering vegetarian a few months ago.

Yeh humara lockdown aur yeh humara Pune. Aur yaha Pawry NAHI ho rahi hai :( 

I have just had one drinking session with a friend and thankfully I controlled myself enough to only have anda bhurji during that (which is fine by my standards). My unfocused determination has not been tested fully yet. I am not sure if after 2 beers if I would casually pick up a tandoori chicken leg piece lying in front of me (Lets call that Beer Pressure). But am sure I’ll be trying my best to avoid doing so. Luckily, all my friends and family are supportive and am 31 years old so peer-pressure shouldn’t even be a thing.

Once you go Tandoori, its hard to maintain Doori...

Peer pressure isn’t like what they show in the movies. People are generally respectful of your food choices if they are fully grown adults. No one is going to taunt you with a seekh kabab by dangling it in front of your face. But for someone who has spent his life enjoying both meat and drink at parties, it feels mentally a difficult thing to adjust to. How do you adjust to changing your own image? Will you be as accepted as you were before?

For anyone who is looking to make any kind of lifestyle change- be it dietary or sexual or clothing etc- peer pressure is the biggest obstacle to overcome. It’s easy to implement your choices in private; it’s very difficult to do so in a social setting. While real friends and family will always support you in this endeavour, the real obstacle is in your mind. For someone who is mostly eager-to-please and conflict averse like me, the pressure is created more in your mind than from actual peers.

LEAP OF FAITH

Internet logic dictates that any lifestyle advice must have this kinda pic attached to it

While there is no Ram-Baan upay for this always remember to just try and do your best. I personally these 3 things to be very effective for any sustained life style change. 

1)Its a habit-  Whether it’s about being vegetarian or saying no to friends because you have to study/ work, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. You may also fail once or twice and thats fine. Dont be too hard on yourself. As a great man Father Leon once said "You must take a leap of faith. The trust part comes later". 

2) Ride the Change - Understand that just because things change, doesn’t mean that they change for the worst.  Life cannot remain the same. It will change. It best however if you are the one driving that change for your own well-being.

3)The Long Game- Lastly and most importantly, one step at a time. Don’t make any sudden drastic changes. Too big a change in too short a time is hard to adjust to for your friends and family. Also, it’s unsustainable in the long term for yourself. In my experience, making a gradual change turns it into a journey and helps you realize and discover things along the way.